Several years ago, my Mom's father's side of the family put together a cookbook of family recipes and included every bit of family history the oldest living relatives could remember or anyone could dig up. It is fascinating to read.

The first family member that came to North America was an Englishman who had worked in India, where he met and married a local woman. They subsequently emigrated to Canada and at some point, ended up in the US. One of my great-aunts told a funny story about seeing her own birth certificate as a young child. Apparently her parents didn't name her right away, so the name on the birth certificate was "Unnamed Smith." She thought for years that her real first name was an exotic East Indian name pronounced ooo-na-med. :-)

I reject your reality and substitute my own.
                                       Adam Savage