Nope. He's trying to play good dad bad mom and that is wrong. Your job is to parent. That includes what you are doing. (Extreme example ahead: If you bought her a pack of cigarettes, would he take them away?)

Have you considered a councilor that specializes in this kind of family dynamic? (If he'd consider it, of course) Sometimes a third party is better received than an ex.

Hell is empty and all the devils are here.
Shakespeare