We had a Gelvieh cross steer, and he was black and really big (nursed on his mother 20 months)(yeah, I know. No separate pasture to put him in) that we had just weaned by sending our cow to a neighbor's farm. Two guys from the inner city came out to install our satellite dish and the steer (who looked like a bull) was looking in their truck windows in case his mother was in there. They called their boss (a good ol' boy whom DH worked with) with a report that a bull was trying to get them. The boss told them to quit messing around and get to work.

They came to my door and all hell broke loose as the two farm collies inside tremendously desired to be outside and rip the strangers' throats out. I squeezed out the door and they asked me where on the house did I want the dish. They were astonished when I asked them to mount it on the chicken coop. But the chickens were hungry and kept pecking at the guys' feet. They were under attack.

Finally they needed to run wire from the dish on the coop to the house, and there was 4' tall grass in the way. I had just gotten a scythe and was eager to use it, so I told the guys to not worry, I'd take care of that problem.

Fast forward to the next day, when their boss is telling my husband about the report he got from these guys. He was laughing so hard it was all he could do to stand up. "And then they said Hahahah that this crazy lady came out with this GRIM REAPER THINGIE!"

I had put some fresh garden produce on the seat of their truck, too, but in hindsight, I doubt they knew what a zucchini was. Bad day for those poor guys.

Get yourself a big black steer and feed it lots of treats so he thinks strangers are coming to give him something to eat; the trespassers'll probably beat a hasty retreat. And I like the geese idea, too; the breweries in Scotland use them for security.