hateithateithateithateit -- have to do it... soon! I really wish there was some better way!?

Does anyone have any suggestions? How much DO you tell someone? Sometimes I get a bit windy: "...and he likes apples if you slice them but if they are whole he drops them and the dog....once the bit is in if you just let him be for a minute he will sort of .... then after the water is off it best to just... plus it's just fun to see him go do it..."

I feel like an idiot 99.9% of the time.

Hell is empty and all the devils are here.
Shakespeare