Are you sure that she needed the water bottle, or that she just really wanted it to fit in? I know that in High School many kids just told their parents that an item was needed as a requirement when it really was not. I am not trying to say that your daughter is dishonest but sometimes this happens.

Have yopuo looked into scholarships for her to apply with? What about an associated student body (ASB) card to get her into the games. I would have never done pep band had I needed to pay to get in. Talk with the coach and principal and see what can be done to cut un nessicary spending. Is the team doing any fund raisers?