Well I understand your pain! My first horse was a livewire and I can be that way too. My other 2 horses are unflappable sorts and if I get upset they just couldn't care less.

So I've had alot of growing to do regarding my own emotions. Getting frazzled around horses has no place at all. With the higher spirited ones, it's a major ingredient for a bomb and for the easygoing ones, it turns them off to the point of causing them to blow you off.

Case in point, my confidence builder has very little go but if I get frustrated with him, we don't go anywhere at all. So no matter what, getting my emotions up whether fearful or frustrated has proven absolutely counter productive.

To fix this in myself. I just stopped whenever I noticed myself getting emotional, focus on relaxation and breathing and then start again from a better place. If found that the more I did this, I started to catch myself sooner and sooner. Now I have much fewer problems than I used to.

There is a book I'd recommend for people with anxiety around horses: How Your Horse Wants You to Ride by Gincy Self Bucklin. Great instruction on riding and great instruction on handling rider anxiety.

"Keep an open mind so that your thinking can be flexible, but not much that your brains fall out."- self