ClunyCapull wrote:
I told myself all the things I would tell a friend. I told myself- "you're gonna be alright" "you can get through this" etc. I got through that, and much more, all because I support myself. I am my biggest advocate, then, now and always.


This is important advice, to be your own advocate and to learn how to pick yourself up when there is no one else around. In the long-term, there probably will be someone that you trust to turn to, but it helps if you become independent and help yourself as much as possible. You might try journaling. One kind of journalling is to write free form, writing down your feelings to help work through them, uncensored, whether it is your feelings about the dog, about yourself, about your boyfriend. Write with no judgement and no required format, just whatever you are thinking. This helps get things off your chest when you have no one to talk to. Another type of journalling that helps is that when you write down something, to follow up by asking yourself, "and this is important, because it means that..." and fill in that sentence with whatever your mind thinks next. For example, "I was so hoping to give that dog a good life, and this is important because it means that".... and fill in what it means. "I had a friend I could count on." "It gave me something important and meaningful to do." "The dog lifted my spirits." "I loved my dog." It helps put you in touch with your emotions and get them out especially when you are momentarily crippled by your grief.

I've found that when I'm going through a troubling spot in my life, and I've had several, that having a second journal, a "Confidence/Strengths Journal," really helped. Every day, I required myself to write one page and write one good thing about myself and my life. And I could not repeat a strength I had previously mentioned. The first few days were easy, after a while I had to dig deep to find a strength. But it did help me shape my perspective and build my self-esteem and self-worth during a bad time.

If you really are overcome with desperation and grief, and really feel the need to talk, you could probably put in an emergency call to the therapist and ask for a list of ministers or people who are on call or 24-hour hotlines where people can get support. There is support out there; be your own advocate, decide if you need it, and then go look for it.