The most recent gem:

Instead of breeding horses, I think I am going to go on a campaign to clean up our highways and byways.. you know, beautify the countryside..

It has come to my attention that landfills are... well... filling up.. junkyards are full.. and the cost of creating all those new vehicles - the waste of resources to do so - all could be better spent instead to restore those vehicles that are already with us ... Also, in my new enlightened state, I am going to push for a moratorium on the importing and/or manufacturing of any vehicles whose price tag can not be justified at $50,000 or more.. after all, why should the world be cluttered up with hybrids, when you can have the best

Having sticker shock yet.. don't panic - there are still plenty of nice new ones for sale on the lots - for now - and once those are gone, you can always find a second hand/or junkyard version ..

Now, realize that some second hand vehicles may be in mint condition - those are the deals - lovingly cared for and kept up - expect to pay more for these; still others may only require a tune up and new tires.. a moderate expense to save the environment - but beware - they can have hidden issues that may cost an arm and a leg to fix... and still others may need a complete overhaul and never be dependable.. but, that's the chance you take when you pays your money..

For those of you looking for a real challenge, you can head to the junkyards.. with the years of mechanical and body work experience so many people have after refinishing that one car, why, they are qualified experts now; or with at least a few good books and DVDs on the subject - better yet, a weekend course or two under one's belt - rehabbing these poor vehicles should be easy.. the fact that you won't be able to drive them for months or years - if ever - is not the point.. all that time and money will be well spent to get them out of the junkyard..

I also understand that many of you may have had your hearts set on a BMW for the price of a neon.. probably not going to happen. You may have to settle for a two door camaro instead of that 4x4 SUV that you need.. but think of the greater good instead of yourself.. you can learn to enjoy shopping at the mall instead of four wheeling in the woods..

And, in the interest of keeping our county and state lands clean and pure, once you have a vehicle, you will not be permitted to trade or sell it.. I am sorry if you can't pull you boat or trailer with your little Dakota Sport..or that your family has outgrown that two door Ford... or that you may have lost your job and can't afford the garage fees.. that is the chance you took when you bought one..

Should your vehicle at any point be pronounced unfix-able by a certified mechanic, most of you will not be allowed to bury it on your property.. However, for a modest fee of $400 - $1200, depending on location, you can have it towed away and disposed of..

Oh, please understand, that I will also be campaigning for the non-recycling of parts as well - after all, that vehicle was once someones pride and joy..