Your Arab is four years old. He's still very baby minded. He is going to have good days and bad days. Usually young horses can work through that as they grow more confident and accustomed to being ridden and knowing what to expect from their riders.

I'm so sorry that you've had a bad experience and are afraid of getting on your horse ever again. If that's the decision that you want to stick with and you feel is best for you, by all means stand by it.

It sounds like you genuinely love your horse and care about what happens to him. If you tell us where you are located you might be surprised to find out that people know of trainers in the area who would be able to work with your horse and help him through his problems. There are people out there who will understand the predicament you are in and who will want to work with a horse that has problems but finding them is going to be the hard part, especially with the market being so down.

Try to stay calm and concentrate on getting better. Hopefully your parents aren't going to rush into 'getting rid' of your horse while you are unable to ride. With time and patience you'll come up with an answer.