dogsnhorses wrote:
I'm so sorry you are going through this. That really sucks. He's cheating one way or the other-- he's checked out emotionally, and that money is going somewhere. Now, maybe he's spiriting it away to the baby's college fund, but I doubt it. He's either scared to death of the commitment of fatherhood, or he's decided another relationship is a lot easier and more fun. Either way, it's not good.

You have received some great advice already. Maybe Lacey is right and he is worried that the woman he fell in love with isn't there anymore; she's been replaced with an emotional woman who doesn't have time to shower everyday and hasn't put on makeup in weeks. Or maybe fatherhood isn't for him and he's staying away because he's uncomfortable around you and the baby. Has he had experience with babies? Is he just scared shitless that he's going to hurt the child if he holds her or changes her diaper?

Another thing-- a friend's husband started doing something like this. They went for counseling, and he eventually admitted he was concerned the baby wasn't his child. They both have darker complexions and dark hair, and the baby was blond with blue eyes. Once he found out that babies are often blond and their hair darkens later, he calmed down. My friend asked them to do a paternity test just for his peace of mind. Their marriage is great and he's now a wonderful, attendant father and they are expecting their second child this fall. He'd been cheated on in previous relationships, and it just took awhile for him to realize that he didn't need to worry about that anymore. Any chance this is the case with your man?

I'd start packing and let him know you are leaving. Don't place blame, don't fight, just tell him things aren't working out and you need to get away for awhile. If he's going through a tough time, he'll wake up and figure out how to get you to stay. If he doesn't, then you have your answer.

I wish you the best.


QFT The best way to leave the chance of having a cordial relationship when your child is older and your BF is no longer a child himself. <-- Maybe.

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