Dude, I swear I'm not! The last time I was drunk was at my roommates 21 birthday party IN MARCH! And according to my gay friend, who is a MAJOR drunkard and part of a fraternity, it is the drunkest he has ever seen anyone. Ever.

My excuse: I always act a shit ton drunker than I actually am, that way when people try and mess with me cuz I'm drunk I can throw it back in their face. I have an AMAZINGLY high tolerance and no one realizes quite how high it is, so they think that after 2 or 3 drinks they can start with messing with me. WRONG! Not even tipsy, please try again later!!! Gets annoying though, when people treat you like you're plastered and you're not. . . On that note, I'm going to go find the nearest liquor store in DC and get crunk in my hotel room by myself. Sounds like a good plan!!! The shower doesn't even come with a tub, it just comes with a drain! What's not to get drunk over?

ps: I'm only just kidding, I'm not going to get drunk. Though there really is no tub, just a drain. . .