Jackie, I am by nature a "rescuer". I feel the need to bring home all sorts of sad cases and sob stories. I have put myself into a lot of dangerous situations for people I don't know all that well. One thing I have learned over and over and over with anybody that is a substance abuser.

They lie.

The worst addicts I know are the absolute most CHARMING people I know. They are sweet, compassionate, tender and the best listeners. People in postitions like you, and like I used to put myself in, do it because we think it will make us feel better to help somebody less fortunate that has had a rough go, even if it is of their making. This poor sad person makes us feel better because we aren't THAT bad off. They think the same way. They think of this super person who will be there to help them and get them out of a rut, until that urge hits them or they have a bad day. Then it's all about how this oh so helpful person can get them what they need.

Whether he's spinning you a story or not, he is doing his damnedst to manipulate you. I've seen this happen firsthand and your OP and the subsequent posts are like a page from my unwritten journal. Reading what you have written is like taking a look at myself and frankly it makes me sad because I have lost so much trying to help, when I needed to be helping MYSELF.

I've not seen a hateful thing written here, only concern and compassion. I know that's not the usual for this board, but these people amaze me on a daily basis with their wisdom and compassion when it's given. Everything said has been said with your well being in mind.

Give him resources other than yourself, and stay away from him. I am telling you as somebody that was in your shoes not even a year ago, this man is purposefully manipulating you. If you MUST go back to that bar (which we know is a crock) be polite, exchange pleasantries, but don't sit down and chat. Better would be to completely avoid going to this particular bar at all. Under no circumstances give him your number or your address.

Do what is truly right and stay away. People that try to help often continue the cycle of damage. If you dont' let somebody hit rock bottom, they never learn. They just get worse and worse until they're in such a mess they'll never get out of it and they drag you down with them. What your considering is definitely in that category.

I wish there was something I could say to MAKE you stay away, but I know the compulsion is there and it's hard to fight. Hell, I'm having trouble not just inviting you to come stay with me yourself so I can keep an eye on you! <<<<----- tell me I'm not deranged. Seriously though. STAY AWAY!

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ChrissyBz wrote:
I can't imagine a life without dogs. It would feel so empty. Instead it's my bank account that's empty. image
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