Thanks for the input, everyone.. not to ADD to my journal... haha.. should rename this thread "The Saga of JackieE"

I went to a town about an hour north of here last night with my friends Cindy and Heather. We had a blast, had some drinks, some pizza.. good times. Heather wanted to go back into Superior once we got back (WE SAW A BEAR!!! On the main road in the city!!!).. so we did, of course.. and went to said bar. It was pretty crowded.. some pipeliners that we know were there, and our friends John and Will.. and the bouncer. I sat down and talked to him, he was not drinking. He said that he was quitting, and that he'd found an AA group to go to and that the bar manager offered him a raise if he could stay sober. I told him that I was proud of him, now he can get himself fixed. His response was "But I don't feel broken." .. I told him that if he can continue to stay sober, keep it up, that we could be friends. But for the time being, I was there for him if he needed anything but we were just aquaintances, and not to call or text me just for fun. It's all I could do. I can't walk away completely but I feel that I made a good step. And I can't avoid this bar.. no matter what all goes on behind the scenes, it's SUPER fun.

On another note. Heather is pissin' me off. Heather is undenyably (?) hotter than I am. It's true. She's 5'2", like 120 lbs.. red hair. She's pretty.. and really plays off the cowgirl theme. She has one horse and shows Western Pleasure. She's not a cowgirl. I've ridden hundreds more horses than she has in her life and I go out in normal people clothes. I could do the cowgirl look but it's such a hassle. OKAY.. end of that rant. So, this makes me sound even worse. But I think she's violating an unwritten lady law, and sort of hurting my feelings at the same time. Disclaimer: I do not want anything besides a "hey how you doin" when I see him. Like 5 weeks ago I got drunk and went home with this guy. Mistake, I have been a VERY good girl since the date from hell.. I'm done with randoms. Anyways...so Heather has his phone number and texts and calls him all the time and they were making out in the bar last night.. I felt like a fucking third-wheel when I'd stand around them. She's always kind of like that though.. she can't be shown up. I can't POSSIBLY get the nice, good looking guy. I know it's the guy too. But we'll ignore his faults because he hasn't been my friend since he was 11 years old, like she has.

Like last week. We have this friend Will. He's darling.. rides horses.. real cute. And Heather has always said "I don't like him, he's a loser.." .. etc.. so I tell her I say "Will got my phone number, we're going to go riding one of these days. He's cute.." .. so I implied that I kinda liked him. She goes "I do like Will.. I'd date him". And talking to him last night as she sucked face with the pipeliner, he said that she was ALL over him (Will) on Saturday (I was out of town).. and wanted to go home with him.

It's just frustrating. I can't wait for my stupid knee surgery so I have an excuse to not ever go out in public again.

evergrey.sanfranciscogothic says: I mean a big giant dildo doesn't
suddenly randomly get soft because it smoked too much pot or thoguht
about it's grandma