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Posts: 35779
Jul 25 09 4:55 AM
Co-Captain FFV, UOSL
Jul 25 09 4:57 AM
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Jul 25 09 5:24 AM
4Horses and Holding wrote: I'm so sorry. I think you already know what's happening and it's a horrid thing to admit to yourself. The only thing I can tell you that might work is to continue ignoring him. You were right, he should have been the one to beg you. If he doesn't come back to you of his own free will, then it doesn't matter how much you beg, you won't keep him... at least not happily. My first husband either cheated on me or only got to the planning stage after our first child was born. I caught him. I dumped him. I begged him to come back. He did. Guess what? I got pregnant again a few months later. Then guess what? We ended up separating and divorcing and then I was not just a single mom with one child, I was a single mom with TWO children. I adore my daughter, BUT it made it SO much harder (and you don't miss what things that you don't know you don't have, you know?). << does that need more explaining? I mean that I would NEVER give up my daughter, but if I'd never have had her, my life would have been easier and I would never have known the joy that she is and so it wouldn't have been a loss to the "then me".
Jul 25 09 5:37 AM
Jul 25 09 5:45 AM
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Jul 25 09 6:31 AM
roro wrote:Your physical hands may be clean but your spiritual ones are infested with evil
Posts: 16812
Jul 25 09 7:05 AM
HAPPINESS HAS A WONDERFUL FLAVOUR WITH HORSE
Posts: 2971
Jul 25 09 7:22 AM
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Jul 25 09 7:32 AM
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Jul 25 09 7:56 AM
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Jul 25 09 7:57 AM
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Jul 25 09 8:05 AM
"Gypsy gold does not chink and glitter, it gleams in the sunshine and neighs in the dark."
Posts: 1617
Jul 25 09 8:26 AM
Elfinbien wrote: You have a friend offering you a place to stay. Take it. Start packing. Let him see you're packing. Give him an address of where you'll be in case he wants to see the baby. Let him know you're done. If he wants to keep you, he'll fight for you. If he doesn't fight for you, you're better off leaving.
Posts: 10543
Jul 25 09 8:32 AM
dogsnhorses wrote: I'm so sorry you are going through this. That really sucks. He's cheating one way or the other-- he's checked out emotionally, and that money is going somewhere. Now, maybe he's spiriting it away to the baby's college fund, but I doubt it. He's either scared to death of the commitment of fatherhood, or he's decided another relationship is a lot easier and more fun. Either way, it's not good. You have received some great advice already. Maybe Lacey is right and he is worried that the woman he fell in love with isn't there anymore; she's been replaced with an emotional woman who doesn't have time to shower everyday and hasn't put on makeup in weeks. Or maybe fatherhood isn't for him and he's staying away because he's uncomfortable around you and the baby. Has he had experience with babies? Is he just scared shitless that he's going to hurt the child if he holds her or changes her diaper? Another thing-- a friend's husband started doing something like this. They went for counseling, and he eventually admitted he was concerned the baby wasn't his child. They both have darker complexions and dark hair, and the baby was blond with blue eyes. Once he found out that babies are often blond and their hair darkens later, he calmed down. My friend asked them to do a paternity test just for his peace of mind. Their marriage is great and he's now a wonderful, attendant father and they are expecting their second child this fall. He'd been cheated on in previous relationships, and it just took awhile for him to realize that he didn't need to worry about that anymore. Any chance this is the case with your man? I'd start packing and let him know you are leaving. Don't place blame, don't fight, just tell him things aren't working out and you need to get away for awhile. If he's going through a tough time, he'll wake up and figure out how to get you to stay. If he doesn't, then you have your answer. I wish you the best.
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Jul 25 09 9:26 AM
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