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Posts: 15083
Jul 31 09 8:20 PM
LolaJ724 wrote: As someone who continually martyred herself for a man that didn't appreciate it, learning, knowing that I DESERVED better was no easy feat. I can tell you with 150% certainty, that you DESERVE to be treated with the love and respect that you have so openly given.
Posts: 9747
Aug 1 09 2:22 AM
Posts: 24
Aug 1 09 5:10 AM
foxjumper wrote: Thanks again guys. We had a long talk on Monday and things started to turn. He was leaving at a reasonable time for work, spending 8 hours and coming home. I was cooking dinner for him, doing his laundry, he was helping out with the baby and kept in contact with me while he was gone. We had dinner out one night and were even sleeping in the same bed (a rarity since someone always sleeps in the other room with the baby so the other can sleep on their night off). He promised to take me to work this evening to spend some time together. That was earlier this week. Guess he forgot because he left without mentioning it, and I didn't say a thing hoping that he'd remember or bring it up. So he was supposed to come home tonight and not have to work until Saturday afternoon. I just got a text mentioning that he was asked to work Saturday (optional) morning so he won't be home tonight, tomorrow, tomorrow night and still gone until Sunday afternoon. I told him I was selling 2 of my bridles and will have $60 by Monday. I'll pay him OVER the same amount he'd get if he worked Saturday morning if he didn't do it and just stayed home. I just offered to pay him for his time here. I just offered to match him $50 and then raise it another $10 if he just came home tonight and didn't leave until his evening shift. So, he'll be gaining $10 if he doesn't do this optional work. He's still doing it though. I think I'm throwing in the towel. I'm not ready to do much right now but give up, but I'm pretty sure that by next week I'll end up blowing again, throwing him out, and then be blamed by my whole family that I just kicked out a good guy who only wanted to work and produce money for his family. Oh well. Thanks for your ongoing support. I'm sorry I made you guys worry but I was working extra hard to clean house, take care of baby, spiff myself up and just work harder at the relationship. I'm sorry if I don't respond to this for a while, and I'm sorry if I don't return messages. I really don't mean to be a bitch, but I just feel kind of numb now and I kind of want to stay that way for a few more days.
When I ride my horse I get to forget I have a brain injury I was the daughter who wouldn't lift a finger in the house but cycled madly off in the pouring rain to spend all morning mucking out a stable.
Posts: 15704
Aug 1 09 6:02 AM
"Gypsy gold does not chink and glitter, it gleams in the sunshine and neighs in the dark."
Posts: 12928
Aug 1 09 7:34 AM
Posts: 12751
Aug 1 09 8:31 AM
JDKdressage wrote: Someone needs to take her internet away, for the safety of herself and others. Seriously, that level of stupid is contagious, you know.
Posts: 9243
Aug 1 09 5:42 PM
Posts: 3345
Aug 1 09 7:18 PM
dogsnhorses wrote: Hon, I had my husband and his best friend read your posts. Both turned to me and said "he's got another girl somewhere, I guarantee it." He's with you when its convenient for him, and with someone else the rest of the time. It's not your fault, it's not your daughter's fault, it's the way he is. Get out and get on with your life, and someday find a man who will be loving and supportive and THERE for you and your little girl. Hugs-- feel free to PM me if I can help in any way.
Posts: 6642
Aug 1 09 7:32 PM
Aug 1 09 7:36 PM
Posts: 1663
Aug 2 09 11:45 AM
I lurk more than I post, but FJ, whew, I just read (most) of this thread and my heart just aches for you. This guy...he's not a man. A man knows and faces up to his obligations. He isn't doing this. He's not man enough to maintain his word, set up regular child support, tell you the truth or break it off with you. He' an emotional coward. He's leaving you with ALL the burden of keeping a house, baby and relationship going. This is absolutely, unequivocably unacceptable. You've got that friend in Montana. Do you have family or a friend closer than this? I have the sense that you could really use the emotional support of a stable, trustworthy friend/relative. You're doing great as a mom, but you've got to take care of YOU also. I think it'd be a great idea to move where you KNOW you will receive love and support. It'll still be hard, sure, babies are hard. But think of all the mental energy you'll have to channel to other opportunities and needs when you leave this guy behind. I don't know how else to help. You sound strong and brave and good hearted. Go be with people who are deserving of all these good qualities. If all else fails, change the lock on your door, delete his info from your phone or block his calls and just keep on trucking.
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